I LIKE MY BEER
  ICE COLD
I LIKE MY SANDWICH
  SOFT
I'LL TAKE MY LIQUOR
  NICE AND STIFF
WHEN I GET DRUNK
  I MIGHT THROW
    UP
WHEN I'M IN A COOL MOOD
I LIKE TO MAKE A LOT OF NOISE
I MIGHT EVEN GET INTO A
  FIGHT
BUT WHEN I'M REAL
  WHICH IS ALWAYS—
I'M TRYING TO ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN
WHEN MY PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT
  I LIKE MY UNDERWEAR LOOSE—
    OR NON-EXISTENT—
I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR SHOES
  IF I DON'T HAVE TO
NOBODY MUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I MIGHT SURPRISE YOU
  AS A BUM
WHEN I COME TO YOUR STORE
  YOU SAY I'M HOMELESS
BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK ME A QUESTION
  TO FIND OUT THAT I'M RICH———————